Life is Moving By So Quickly!

It's been almost a month since the last post, and we have more news to report!

Brooklyn has started pulling up on everything and even started clapping last week =) We are all enjoying watching her grow and learn so much! We had to take her to Urgent Care on Saturday, February 19th because she was very cranky and running a bit of a fever. They told us it was just viral and to go home, so we did... By Monday she was still irritable enough that I was worried, plus her cough and runny nose combined was making her gag on the snot, in turn, making her nearly throw up. I made an appointment and took her in. Sure enough, the "cold" she had on Saturday turned into an ear infection. As any Momma knows, after the first 24 hours of antibiotics, the kiddos always seem to feel 100% better; Her nasty cough has persisted the entire week, though, and I feel so bad for her! We'll finish out the rest of the Amoxicillin for the infection and if the cough isn't gone by then, I guess it's back to the Doc.



Tuckered Out!



Jon got a job working part time at the 1st Stop gas station right across the street from his parents’ house, (convenient huh?) It is not enough for us to pay our bills, so as it stands, he still needs another job. **Side note: If anybody knows of anybody hiring, that would be greatly appreciated ;-)** He was offered an interview at Boulder Calls for a telemarketing position that makes much more than the minimum wage he is earning now so we'll see if that goes anywhere. I don't think he has made a call back yet. Other than working at the 1st Stop, he has mainly been playing his new Halo Wars Xbox game and watching Brooklyn sometimes. 

Hunter is doing great in school! He has learned so much more from the teachers here at the YMCA than any other school he has been in. I was skeptical when I sent him on the first day, but the school has really grown on us. His teachers are so loving, caring and patient. That really makes such a difference for him. He is very easily influenced, mood-wise, by other's emotions, so having positive people in his life makes all the difference in our daily lives (and considering the attitude of some people around us... Well we just won't go there right now.) He has been on a great routine for almost a week now at home, which helps to make our days run much smoother. We'll check back in on the next blog to see how the routines are coming along =)

My Pride and Joy!

I had been busy packing and decluttering for our up-coming move, that isn't going to happen now. We will be staying at the apartment for another year due to unforeseen circumstances (no money due to Jon being out of a job for 2 months) Since I had already decluttered so much, I decided to just keep doing it and maybe I would start to love the place that was sucking the very life out of me every day. Guess what?! I was right! With fewer things I am less overworked, trying to keep our heads above water. With fewer things I can actually concentrate on what needs my attention. I can actually keep my place clean enough for an infant! I can honestly say that my baby can crawl around the ENTIRE apartment without me having to follow her around, making sure she doesn't get into something; what a relief that is! We have dinner planned and ready every night, I only have to go to the grocery store once a week, bills would be paid on time if we had more income, laundry is always caught up (never more than a load to wash,) the carpets are vacuumed twice daily, and there are rarely dishes in the sink (again, Hunter and I have been cleaning up our messes, so ours are always put away.) This gives me peace of mind which allows me time to play with my kids without being distracted about all the housework that needs done. I have also been on my routine with Hunter, and boy, does it show! The only things that are ever left out anymore are Jon's "things." I have a bit of faith that if I can teach my 5 YEAR OLD how to clean up his own messes, I can teach Jon how to pick up after himself (although I don't think it's my job to teach him something he should already know.) Since he is working a little more than I am, I have no problem doing the housework, cooking, cleaning, errands, doctor appointments, etc. I, however, am not a maid. I clean up my messes and so should every other able bodied person in the house. Hunter picks up his socks, shoes, coat, toys, dinner plates, etc. without hardly being asked anymore, so I know it's possible for a 21 year old to do.

With Jon home constantly for nearly two months while he was out of work, our relationship was being worn thin, to say the least. We have A LOT of work to do before we can even think about getting along now. I am hurt from the nasty words that were spit like fire from his mouth. I am hurt because there is no romance in our relationship. We haven't had one romantic date since Valentine Day two years ago. TWO YEARS!! I want to feel like a woman, not a maid or his Mother. I want to have a meaningful conversation that doesn't involve a gaming controller. I want to not feel like I'm walking on eggshells every single day of my existence, in my own house. I don't want to constantly feel this animalistic "defense mechanism" I've obtained by being in an emotionally and (some would argue) physically abusive relationship. I want to know that what I do is appreciated! So much has gone on behind our closed doors and I would be appalled if everyone knew all the things that have happened between us, so please don't go assuming anything. You probably know very little about what truly happens around here. The blog may seem a bit one-sided today and that is because I do the writing. If Jon wanted to blog about our family, his opinions could be read too, but I don’t think most guys are into that, LOL.

Life is moving by so quickly and if we are just wasting our time being miserable together, it would be in the best interest for everyone if we split. I mean, who wants to spend their unknown amount of time on Earth, surrounded by people that don’t make you your happiest? The health problems in my family have made me so aware of just how quickly my life can change. All I want is to enjoy the time I do have, with the people that lift me up and are positive influences. I was not raised up to fight, scream, yell and throw things around, and I’ll be damned if I raise my kids in a home that's even remotely hostile. I don’t want to spend another minute miserable and my hope is that this blog will make you look at your own life and maybe you decide to purge the negative, nasty, or unhealthy relationships in your life, too.

We have so much work to do on this relationship, and I know if we are both committed to making it work, we can. That's the question... Are we both committed enough to make it work?